x. I've become so n u m b

[x. evoke]

They called her Evoke,
For four years to this day,
They painted her porcelain,
And gave her the locks to match,
They tainted her blood with
pure andalusian lines,
Some say she's light,
Some say she's dark,
They're both right.

Evoke's different, very different. Yet in a captivating way. She's oppinionated, sarcastic, hyper, intelligent and unique - above all else she is unique. There are times - when she becomes a different enquine, another side of Evoke. A side some long yet fear to see. Sometimes - she is quite dark, as they say, she can be evil one moment and light the next. A very mixed personality. It's hard to tame her, only few have seemed to get through to her barriers. What shall this time bring?

Her history? We'll leave that story for her to tell. Who knows? She might learn to trust.


S A M P L E

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you


"Run Ardina! Run!" a voice screeched through the dark night. My towers perk up, flints trying to raise me higher to see what was going on past the grey cloud of smoke. Mommy! Where was Mommy? "Run!" the voice came again, more dreadful then the last. Without thinking I darted to wards the west. Running helplessly through the forest, looking back over my shoulder - no one. Where was she? I kept on asking myself as flints carried me faster and further away. Twigs scratching my pelt as I ran harder, the noises of battle drained from the beating in my ears. Heart racing I reached the desert plains just at sunset. Do I keep going? I ask myself looking back to wards the forest - no. Keep running. I take a deep breath and look out into the west - a days journey from here and I would arrive at Den Raven. Thats what mother had said last time I saw her. Was it her that told me to run? I asked, rearing and setting off at full speed. Daggers imprinting on the ground. White bod making its way through the heated plains of orange sands. Leaving everything behind - My name, my family, my lands - My Life. At last the the sun rose, and I could see the outline of Den Raven. Chest heaving I continued at a slower gait, feeling light headed. I could see no one. But could they see me? Mouth parched I struggled to stand, body bruised and tense. Just before hitting the ground, ooids found the gaze of another. Then it all went black...

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

That was one memory I was never going to be able to flee from. That was one memory that was never going to let me escape. Is it trying to tell me something? Is it trying to tell me that you cant run away from all your problems? God only knows. But he isn't on my side, is he? No, I suppose not. Who is on my side? The darks? They claim I am their leader and yet they do not know me. Perhaps they are right, or maybe they're making a big mistake. The past is hell, and the destiny is heaven. But do I really want heaven in the end? Wouldn't I rather the darkness? Right now, I'm not even sure what I have to do anymore. Find Ardina's Box. That I'm sure of. But after that? Well we'll let fate come to being then.

Memories are eating me alive...

Lyrics mumbled, ooids gazing at something yet nothing. Thats what I was, Something yet Nothing. I sighed and blinked, what was this time 'round going to bring? More broken hearts? Tears that never dry? Or shall this time actually go according to plan? Lets hope so. Lets. Hope. So.

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be

[Lyrics: Numb by Linkin Park.]

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